Is it a secret, or are you being private? A secret, as an adjective, refers to something not known or seen, or not intended to be known or seen by others. Some secrets are good, some are bad, and others are simply secrets of life. If you’ve lived for any length of time, you undoubtedly have your own secrets. It’s an inherent aspect of human existence. I possess secrets that I’ve kept for years—whispers confided by friends, even those with whom I rarely communicate with now. I also carry my own deep secrets, ones I will likely take to my grave.

Private, as an adjective, is defined as belonging to or for the use of one particular person or group of people only. Being private means that certain aspects of my life are exclusively mine, shared only with my inner circle, and can be the same for you too. My close friends recognize my choice to keep my love life, future plans, and off-the-grid moments private. It’s a powerful lesson that I have embraced and perfected over the years. While I may not be famous to the world, I am surrounded by a few people who love me.

Let’s dive into, from my point of view, the difference between keeping secrets and respecting privacy—it’s a super important topic that hits home for anyone who cares about personal growth and building strong relationships. It has been a rainy day in the south. It smells clean outside from the rain, the breeze is cool and the grass and plants are hydrated.

Since it rained in my area yesterday, temperatures are cooler, the weekend is loaded, and the weather is going to be nice. Just toss on a hoodie, grab something warm to drink, and let’s dive in! Hey, meet me on the stoop, pal, and see what I have to blab about.

I firmly believe that some secrets are meant to remain just that: secret, and people should uphold a greater sense of privacy regarding their lives. We inhabit a world obsessed with instant gratification, where social media permeates every facet of our existence. Doomscroll much? I often mention that I am “seasoned” in age, having navigated through numerous challenges throughout my lifetime. I grew up in an era where phones were tethered to the wall and film was developed at a photo shop—quite different from the Photoshop we utilize today. If you know, you know.

Social media has undeniably compromised our privacy; cameras are everywhere, recording experiences that can go viral in mere minutes. This reality has pushed many to become more secretive and protective of their personal lives. Celebrities with children find themselves constantly vigilant, battling the paparazzi just to take their kids to a mundane place like Target. And for what? A photo of a child who never chose the spotlight of celebrity parents! While I acknowledge that these images can fetch substantial sums for photographers, we must recognize that we are discussing innocent children—society’s most vulnerable members—who deserve our protection above all else. They deserve their own privacy.

Keeping a secret is a pretty big deal, kinda like taking care of a cool treasure that means a lot. Seriously, when a friend opens up to you and shares something personal, it’s a real chance to show them that you value their trust—no matter if you don’t see eye to eye on everything. Every secret shared just shows how strong your friendship is, proving your buddy trusts you completely. Those secrets are unique and need to be handled with care since they reveal feelings and dreams that aren’t easy to share. If there’s one thing to remember from this post, it’s all about loyalty—because real friendship is all about having solid trust! So, embrace this awesome responsibility and know that keeping a secret not only respects your friend but also shows your own integrity and character.

Quick story, my mother Jan had a close friend who was incredibly kind to me and loved me just as much as she loved her own children; her name was Gwen. Gwen was truly wonderful, and even when my mother and she drifted apart, Gwen never wavered in her support. When my mother passed, I sought out this friend, despite years of silence between them, and posed a question at my mom’s funeral—one that my mother had evaded for years. Knowing I might not see Gwen again, I finally had the courage to ask. The look in Gwen’s eyes told me she held the answer I sought. Her response was direct: if there was anything I wished to know, I should have asked my mother before her passing. I countered that my mother never provided a straight answer, but Gwen continued, stating that whatever I didn’t resolve went down in that grave with her. I could only appreciate her honesty; she added, “I’m sorry, but what she confided in me will remain a secret.” At that moment, I held even greater respect for her, and she taught me a life lesson. Gwen later passed away, taking the secret with her. Ultimately, I learned the answer to my question through DNA testing.

Let me be clear: my friends and I share an abundance of secrets, almost as if we’re part of an exclusive club. They’ve got some of mine stashed away too, and we’ve made a pact to stick together—after all, revealing those juicy stories would be a major mistake. It’s a serious bond, and I stand by that truth! What is the old saying, treat others as you would want to be treated, not how they treat you?

I truly understand how vital it is to cherish the personal aspects of our lives, respecting the comfort that privacy brings. As time goes on, I find myself feeling more deeply about this, and it genuinely influences my choices and dreams. I have a strong desire to protect my personal space, recognizing that some things are incredibly precious. It’s okay not to share everything; not everyone needs access to every intricate detail of our journeys—and that’s completely alright.

Secrets can be a tricky thing, right? Some are worth keeping to yourself, while others need to come out eventually. And if they’re yours and you’re not into sharing, that’s totally fine! But if you feel like spilling, I really hope you find someone who’s trustworthy, like Gwen was for Jan. I’ve been lucky to have those “ride-or-die” friends. Seriously, I hope whoever’s reading this finds that special buddy or buddies in their life too!

May your secrets remain secure with those who embrace vulnerability, and know that it is not selfish to keep certain aspects of your life private. May I add, what has been confided in you in secret or private is where it needs to remain. I do not care if you no longer associate with the person who unloaded it to you; it is imperative that those secrets remain within the boundaries of that relationship. This is called being a good human, period.

You can form your own opinion on how you digest secrecy and privacy; this is just mine. Learn to set boundaries and keep some things to yourself. Also, before you unload secrets on others, make sure they have the mental capacity and the tools to handle your secret and your privacy. You must also be honest and tell someone if you have the same capacity to handle their secret, maintain it, and keep it private as well. This is highly important.

I sincerely hope you are taking the time to prioritize your mental health, as it is incredibly important. Embrace life wholeheartedly, even on those challenging days—they are merely stepping stones leading to brighter days ahead. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your friends and let them know how much they mean to you—those genuine messages can be a source of uplift for everyone involved. Always remember that it’s okay to seek help when needed, and keep holding onto hope; there are always better days waiting for you just around the corner! Keep grinding; you’ve got this. Disclaimer: I am not a mental health coach, doctor, or counselor. However, I do try to be a good listener without judgment.

Kindness starts with me, there is a difference between a secret and being private.

Thanks for stopping by the stoop. Until next time…

❤️

tlramsey